This was such a funny forward sent to me that I had to repost it on our blog. I hope you find is as enjoyable as I did. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Eating Tips for The Holidays
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other
time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in
every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or
something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later
than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,
you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, cherry and mincemeat - have a slice of each. Or, if
you don't like mincemeat, have two cherries and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips: Start
over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Gary Nathan and Amanda Mavis
Life is a Gift...Live it!
